i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think people are normalizing furries
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
