i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
