I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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