I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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