Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
