Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
In America we eat man semen.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize