Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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