woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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