this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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