Me too!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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