Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
