i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize