My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
