she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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