Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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