And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize