the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize