can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
