Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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