I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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