Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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