thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
