best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
