take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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