is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
