You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My vagina just recognized that song.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
