I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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