I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
