I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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