I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Two words: blizzard sex
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
