You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
