No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
