so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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