great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
