dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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