I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
