I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
