Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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