i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
