"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
