pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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