I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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