I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
