my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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