You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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