dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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