i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
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three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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