it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
