I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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