I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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