I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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