sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So squirting runs in the family.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
