Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize