you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
