I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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