this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
